"The prince who left my life too soon."
A Prince is Born
Princeton Nasir Hunt was born March 14, 2016, at Meriter Hospital. It was a long and pretty scary birth. My mind and heart was racing with emotional thoughts. A week before Princeton’s birth I was admitted into the hospital because his heart went flat line after I received the flu vaccine. I spent a day and a half hooked up to monitors, crying, feeling lost and not knowing what was happening to me or my son. Thank you to God that Princeton’s heart rate came back.
The day of labor I had so many emotions I couldn’t control. After I finally gave birth to my prince words couldn’t describe how much joy I felt to see my son and I hugged him so tightly and whispered in his ear thank you for not leaving me. After seeing and holding Princeton I still couldn’t get my emotions under control. I prayed and asked God to help ease my mind but for some reason I just couldn’t enjoy my son.
The next day while we were in the hospital the doctor came into my room and told me Princeton had jaundice and he would be placed under a light for a while when he goes home. At this point my emotions got even worse. There were so many different things going on with Princeton and I couldn’t understand why. I noticed at the hospital Princeton couldn’t latch on to my breast to eat, and it was hard for him to latch on to his pacifier. As I remained in the hospital I asked questions and definitely let them know I had concerns. Princeton was set up with a doctor’s appointment for further care before we left the hospital.
The night Princeton and I arrived home with the family everybody was full of joy and happy but I still had those full body emotions. Princeton nor I slept that night. He was uncomfortable and crying and I tried everything in my power to help him get comfortable. Princeton had doctor’s appointments every other day it seemed. He had to get blood drawn from the heel of his foot to see if the numbers of jaundice went down. I felt like every time my son went to the doctor there was no relief.
A Fighter Until the End
As time passed things started to get just a little better as I thought but in reality it wasn’t 100% better. I had this feeling in my soul that just wouldn’t leave me alone. I kept saying to myself whatever this feeling is I’m going to keep faith and pray. The day of May 21, 2016 was Princeton’s last doctor's appointment. My prince went into the doctor for his two-month checkup. Before giving Princeton his vaccine they checked him from head to toe and listened to his heart and lungs, told me he sounds great and looks great. At this point I let them finish up everything and Princeton received his shots. After the first shot my son screamed a scream so loud I thought the windows would burst.
I couldn’t think of anything but to quickly grab my son off the table and hold him in my arms close to my chest. My son cried for hours and hours, nobody in the house got sleep that night. The very next day it was the same thing and at this point I was so torn I felt that I was falling apart. The day of May 21st, I never knew what I’d be facing. That morning from the time I woke up and looked at my son I knew something tragic happened. I let out a scream that woke the whole house up. Me and my family couldn’t believe we were staring at Princeton while he was unresponsive. We called 911 and when the ambulance and firetruck arrived first responders immediately started CPR and rushed him to the truck. As my baby was being placed in the ambulance I was placed into the back of a police car.
Once we arrived at the hospital it seemed like within an hour or so my whole life fell apart. They had me in a waiting room with a police officer. I couldn’t understand why I was being supervised by a police officer in the midst of trying to figure out what was going on with my son. The doctor finally came into the room and took her hat off and sat in the chair and told me she tried to do everything she could to save Princeton but he didn’t make it. I immediately fell to the floor I was so numb the police officer had to pick me up. They walked me back into the room were Princeton was laying and I was surrounded by nothing but police officers. I had no family nor friends with me. They wouldn’t let anyone come be there with me.
I was then placed back into the police car and was taken home where all my family and friends and neighbors surrounded me. My family and I were treated so poorly during this tragic moment of losing Princeton.
Learning from Princeton's Life....While Walking through Grief
What has helped me in my healing journey is close friends and family but most of all support from other moms who have faced this same hurt. I’m actually still learning as I’m walking down this dark road called grief.
The advice I would give to other families and parents especially single mothers is to never be afraid to reach out and let someone know you need help with grieving and depression. We are all in this together, no one is facing this alone, continue to have faith and continue to pray and no matter how hard some days may seem never give up. And never hide your tears because your tears are growth and your story.
Princeton’s life has continued to help me grow because he taught me how to never give up on battles that’s not stoppable. Seeing Princeton fight through his sicknesses and doctor’s appointments and rough nights just made me want to fight even harder. My son’s life left me with so many goals and growth and things to accomplish. My prince taught me things about life I didn’t know, but most of all my son left me with the knowledge he wasn’t leaving without a strong fight and that’s why I’ll cherish him to the fullest. My son was the strongest soldier I’ve ever met in my life and I will always place a crown on my angel.
Submitted with love by Princeton's mom, Sharmora Phillips
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